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A kind woman, a friend of my mother, gathered my sobbing face and weak body and pressed me tightly into her dress. She refused to let me watch the scene unfold before me.I don’t really know what I thought after the event. I thought I had no-one left in this world; my mother a single child and my father had only one sister that lived some distance away and I knew not where. There were no grandparents left to look after me and so I believed that my life would be in my hands alone, as difficult as that would have been with the death of my parents pressing ever inwards and suffocating every smile that was to appear on my lips. Needless to say, I didn’t smile much.And so it was with shock that I was sent to live with my Aunt Bessie. I believed that I owned nothing more than the clothes I stood up in, yet I was told, by a well-dressed gent wearing a shiny top hat, that I would have monies due to me from the house. I remember nodding but knew nothing of what he meant. I think he mentioned. I nodded my head yes that I was okay but she knew the right question to ask next, “Nightmare?” Again I nodded. My mom sat down on the sofa next to me and pulled me to her and asked me if I wanted to talk about it. I shook my head no. I was then stunned by her next question, “Do you think you’re ready to tell me about your rape?” I looked at her very surprised and I wanted to tell her but I just didn’t think I could begin to put it into words for her. I also didn’t think I could explain how Scott had arranged for me to go to the hotel. So I finally answered her by just shaking my head no. “It might help to talk about it,” she said. “I can’t yet mom,” I said back but made a point to hug her harder. “Okay baby, just let me know when you’re ready,” she said. We sat there on the sofa starring at the TV watching nothing. I must have fallen asleep because I woke up later and found myself lying on the sofa with a blanket over me to the smell of fresh coffee brewing. I got up.
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